Banned Zazzle Designs and Titles

This post will periodically be added too when more of my designs get banned at by their content review NAZI types (designs will be represented by their title and sometimes the design, many of the banned designs were text only no graphic whatsoever):

Please note that if you use an image at Zazzle that is in any of your designs that get banned they appear to ban all designs that have that image in them. So if you really like a particular image reload it with a different name each time you use it in a design that may get banned so that you don’t have a entire group of designs come down. Example: The soldier below has been banned at Zazzle multiple times just because he looks like a NAZI not because their is any insignia on the graphic. Other times particular words get completely banned, example: pornography, if you use that word the design does not work at all.


german face 2I was raped by a Nero D’Avola Sicilian Red Wine

In a Biblical Sense Trump Raped America

Amador California I Raped a Zinfandel last Night

I Raped a nice little Chardonnay last night

CRIMES OF PASSION I Raped a Petite Sirah

I Raped a Petite Sirah I did time for it

I Raped an underage Petite Sirah last Night

I was raped by a Nero D’Avola in Scopello Sicily

Trump Der Oberste Fuhrer der Schutz Staffel


Pornography is a Biohazard

Vino Pornography

Trump Putin Lincoln Bedroom Porn video

First we IMPEACH the TRUMP POTUS PIG Shakespeare

POTUS Trump German Wein Analsex Täter

Stephen Bannon Fascist Clone of Mussolini

Stephen MILLER HIMMLER Clone from Baby Factory

Stephen Bannon Fascist Clone of Mussolini

Stephen MILLER Fascist Clone of Hidecki Tojo?




Confirmed Trump POTUS is a War Criminal Clone

Stephen MILLER GERMAN Ministry of Police

Stephen Bannon Einsatzgruppen Secret Police

Donald Trump’s POTUS Bodily Fluids are Tainted

Trump POTUS Bad Sperm Fluids are Tainted

Trump POTUS Baby Batter defective no swimmers

POTUS Donald Trump Stoolie File Photo


POTUS Trump’s SONOMA Fascist Wine Tours

TRUMP POTUS Stephen BANNON Operational Groups


POTUS Trump’ Vino Tasting Tours NAPA California

POTUS Trump Mar a Logo Florida Wine Tours

Trump POTUS Bad Sperm Dr Strangelove Plot

Baptist Goat Fucks Trump in Lincoln Bedroom








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More Zazzle Donald Trump POTUS Political Censorship

I guess when you really start to strike a bone with your work it really starts to get censored, below is a list of titles from T shirts that got pulled from today:

Donald Trump’s POTUS Bodily Fluids are Tainted

Trump POTUS PRECIOUS Bodily Fluids are Tainted

Trump POTUS Bad Sperm Fluids are Tainted

Trump POTUS Baby Batter defective no swimmers

POTUS Donald Trump Stoolie File Photo


POTUS Trump’s SONOMA Fascist Wine Tours

TRUMP POTUS Stephen BANNON Operational Groups


POTUS Trump’ Vino Tasting Tours NAPA California

POTUS Trump Mar a Logo Florida Wine Tours

Below are some of the graphics that went with the above T shirts:

german face 2

trump as german





Zazzle Confirms Censorship of Trump Ad referencing Bodily Fluids specifically Bad Sperm

Yesterday took down two of my political t shirt designs about Donald Trump the Potus about his inability to repopulate the earth when he is in the bunker after the Nuclear Holocaust. The T shirt  design was admittedly tasteless referencing his bad sperm and that some were floaters. The T Shirt designs were all text.

Zazzle sent the following e-mail today about why it can’t keep the design on the site, “Upon review of your product, your design contains graphic references to bodily fluids that is not permitted for sale on Zazzle’s marketplace.”

I checked the site today and there were over 3000 designs that incorporated the word sperm in the text or graphic. There were over 80,000 designs that referenced another bodily fluid, Blood. There were over 140,000 designs that referenced the word Trump. There are designs for shit, piss, poop, diarrea at

The support person today at zazzle said that she referenced the notes in the censorship file and said it was censored because it referenced bodily fluids and Donald Trump at the same time.

Sperm designs are fine without Donald Trump and the POTUS but put them together and it’s not. I guess a design with Urine and Donald Trump POTUS would be censored also. Shit would also probably be all right since it is more of a solid although it does sort of belong in the bodily fluids category.

One other censorship issue happened within the last two weeks: I had put up a tasteless shirt that said Donald Trump POTUS had been fucked by a Baptist Goat in the Lincoln Bedroom and it was taken down, although my other designs with a Methodist, Mormon, Muslim goats fucking Trump were left up…….I guess we had a Baptist in the Censorship Department.

Truly has censorship Nazi’s in the back room.

Trump’s Claim of being Navy Elephant Seal Causes Riot in Whittier Alaska

Dateline January 27th early morning in The Bloated Dog Brew Pub and Grill in Whittier Alaska…..

Alaska Entralibut Bistro Whittier Alaska AK Entrails 247 AK

Last night in the Entralibut Bistro in Whittier Alaska the Patrons rioted after seeing Donald Trump’s claim to have been a Navy Elephant Seal. As the news came out on the large flat screen behind the bar, many patrons spit out the entrails they were eating (the Entralibut is an entrail-only Bistro). Whittier Alaska has many ex Navy Elephant Seals who retire there to spend their golden years fishing for halibut and pickling blueberries. There was a tremendous amount of swearing and an effigy was burned on the dock. There was loose talk of clubbing him like a seal.  This was unconfirmed, although a seal club was found in the men’s room near the Salmon Skin Condom machine.

Captain Dan of Captain Dan’s Pagan Fishing Charters was present during the riot. He was awaiting parts for his U-Boat/Halibut Charter Boat so that he can start his attack on headquarters located near San Francisco Bay.

One patron who had been in Grants Pass Oregon during the Rogue Salmon Attack said this was worse than the paranoia and riot during that unfortunate event.

Captain Dan's Pagan Halibut Fishing Charters Whittier Alaska AK German Officer

File Photo of Captain Dan in his prime is at left.

Captain Dan Logo banned by Revenge is Sought

October 24th 2016… the Whittier Alaska small boat harbor…..early AM….next to Captain Dan’s converted German World War II era submarine / Halibut Charter boat…..

Captain Dan is irate irritable and pissed off. has recently banned his primary logo from his halibut charter business from being displayed on products in it’s marketplace (logo is below).

The exact wording of the ban on Captain Dan is at the end of this post.*

Captain Dan is a stern Germanic looking man that wears halibut insignia on his Captains hat. It takes a mean brutish Wolf Larsen type to consistently catch 400 pound plus trophy Halibut.

Captain Dan's Pagan Halibut Fishing Charters Whittier Alaska AK German Officer



Supplies are being loaded on the U boat for the trip south to the San Francisco Bay and sweet revenge. Cases of wine, rum, moose sausage and smoked salmon (Only the best bar snacks are served on the submarine). Charter Customers are waiting to board the U Boat for the run south to San Francisco Bay and a rendezvous with the headquarters and the boats refurbished 88 mm deck gun.

The 40 mm deck gun is being removed for something with more destructive power and range (The 40 mm is usually used for Sitka Black Tail deer hunts in the fall in beautiful picturesque Prince William Sound).

Discount: Mention this blog post to receive 30% off your next deer hunt in magnificent Prince William Sound (deadline to receive this discount is November 15th 2016).

Captain Dan was pleased to see that had placed it’s headquarters near San Francisco Bay and well within range of his deck gun (150 high explosive shells had all ready been loaded).

A small swimming pool has been attached to the deck behind the conning tower of the U-Boat. The swimming pool has an attached cover and in the pool are 15 Halibut IED’s (Halibut Improvised Exploding Device) or IEHD’s. The IEHD is a halibut that has been implanted with a wire guided IED as a submersible explosive device. (File photo below).

halibut IED Improvised Halibut Explosive Device Alaska Fishing Charters

Ports to be visited on the run south include Skagway, Juneau, Ketchikan, Victoria BC, Seattle, Astoria Oregon and Depot Bay Oregon. The submarine may go up the Columbia River to Portland Oregon to stock up with Pinot Noir (Pinot Noir is not the Captain’s favorite that is Petite Sirah and Zinfandel from Lodi California). Captain Dan grew up in Astoria Oregon and in fact lived there when the SS Iowa went down while trying to cross the Columbia River Bar.

The first night on the converted U-Boat as it heads south is Movie night, the triple feature includes The Mother Lode, Barbarella and the Captain’s favorite Das Boot.

The U-boat will also be docked near the Pampanito in the harbor near Fishermans Wharf for a week before the attack on headquarters. Free T shirts and refrigerator magnets will be given to the first 500 visitors during the week long stay. Pampanito docents are invited for a complimentary cocktail party, free appetizers and a sleep over on the first night of the U-Boat’s visit to Fisherman’s Wharf.

The submarine was going to dock at Pier 39 but the sea lions are just to smelly.

Charter Customers will be able to troll for salmon during the day and halibut fish at night (The U-Boat will be anchored up at night). Halibut Fish and Chips will be available 24/7. As per normal operating procedures wine from the state of Virginia has been banned. And of course Dungeness crab pots and rings will be provided for use in the evening during slack tides.

virginia wine vin vino biohazard suck terrible



A small floating seaplane will be towed behind the submarine so the expedition will have an aerial attack capability (25 Aerial Halibut Bombs have all ready been loaded into the rear torpedo room see file photo below). 10 Balloon bombs have also been loaded, just like the ones used on the west coast by the Japanese during World War II.

Halibut IED Bomb Alaskan Fishing Device Alaska AK Halibut Fishing


Backround on Captain Dan: Captain Dan is an Ex Navy Elephant Seal (Most people in America remain blissfully unaware of the Navy Elephant Seal Program) and a hero of the 1950’s Halibut wars. It has also been documented that 4% of the DNA in his magnificently marbled body is Halibut DNA (The picture used in his logo above was taken when he was younger and more chiseled).

Oregon Dairy Disclosure: Captain Dan serves only Tillamook cheese and other Tillamook Dairy products on the U-Boat.

Role Models: Yoast, one of the characters in the movie, The Way, is seen as a role model and mentor figure. Yoast and Captain Dan have weight problems and both share lamb as a trigger food.

Alaska Table Dancer required disclosure: There will be 3 cage free Artisan Strippers on the Submarine available for table dances. Two of the strippers are classified as free range strippers. One of the strippers is Artisan and Organic (Organic in this context means the stripper has never eaten cold cereal) It is well known that Nude Dancing is explicitly protected in the State of Alaska Constitution where Captain Dan’s boat is registered.

Rumors: It was rumored that Curtiss Craig, lately of Culpeper Virginia, would board the boat in Whittier Alaska but this was found to be in error because Mr. Craig can’t go back to Alaska until the incident at the strip club in Fairbanks is cleared up (He will board the boat in either Seattle or Victoria British Columbia).

Whittier Small Boat Harbor Disclosure: Captain Dan is still waiting for a slip in the Whittier Small Boat Harbor and has been assured by Harbor officials that he will have a slip in 12 years.

Required Government Contraceptive Disclosure: Kenai Contraceptives of Homer Alaska will be supplying the Salmon Skin Condoms and other various contraceptives and pleasuring devices like Salmonagra, Salmonitacon and the Salmon Vibrator.

Post written by: Ted Aschenbrenner a staff writer at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack in Manassas Virginia a Faux Tiki Bar on the East Coast of the US….

Legal Entanglements: Captain Dan is wanted in the Yukon Territory for questioning about the dumping of Uncle Buddie’s Books.

*”Unfortunately, your product was removed because it featured a design that does not meet Zazzle’s Acceptable Content Guidelines. Specifically, images/text depicting or referencing Adolf Hitler, Nazi Germany, swastika, and other Nazi related items are prohibited.”

#tedspagantikishack #princewilliamsoundalaska #whittieralaska #tedspagantikibar #trendingtikibars #alaskafinedining

#alaskatrophyhalibutfishing #converteduboats #halibutcharteruboats

#fvmightyowhittieralaska #moosedungtheelder #jacklondontheseawolf

#fvabouttime #grantspasshighschoolcaveman #westlinnhighschool1975

#zazzle.comceo #fireballoonattacksoncalifornia









Virginia Wines ….. Quality? Pricing? And who is drinking this overpriced stuff?

October 5th in Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack located in Manassas Virginia…..

I have said for over a decade that Virginia Wines were massively overpriced at every level of quality. Two weekends ago I went to a local winery and did some tasting. Red wines by the glass at 10-11 dollars and 30-38 dollars a bottle, wines that I didn’t think were worth $3.99 a bottle. $14 dollars to do the tasting. California vintners would never have had the balls to put this stuff out.  Wines that should have been dumped in the parking lot. A recent article in the Washington Post surmised that it was the very young wine drinkers who were mainly drinking this swill, well I guess so, young and stupid. The older wine drinkers have found California, France, Chili, Argentina, Washington State…..and spend their money more wisely.

Truly an uneducated young wine drinker is the Virginia Wine Industries best friend.

Friends don’t let friends drink Virginia Wine.

Two women asked us at the winery what they should do….I said go to California.

#vawine #virginiawine #virginiawines #virginiawinecountry #vawinecountry #virginiawinereviews #virginiawineblog #

Cabernet Franc Is it really Horse Urine? Yes it is

Dateline June 29, 2016 from the Tiki Bar that was devastated by a massive thunder storm last night, not like Hiroshima or Nagasaki, or Biblical but a little bit less…

Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Shak Manassas Va Virginia Wine Bar Enoteca

I really think that all purveyors, growers, stupid consumers, wine snobs, wine hoes, retailers, wholesalers and restaurants that sell it should be incarcerated. These people should be put on the no fly list and there addresses and contact information should be forwarded to the Authorities so that they can be imprisoned.  These people need to be treated like the HOA (Homeowners Association) and certain relatives (you know who you are).

I even had a t-shirt design made with the saying, “Cab Franc, Is it really Horse Urine?

The real reason they club baby seals in Canada is not for the pelts it’s because those cute little baby seals drink Cabernet Franc. And the real reason, not in the history books, that the US Civil War was fought was not to save the Union or Abolish Slavery but that the Southerners were growing Cabernet Franc grapes and the North had just to much.

When California has the big one, earthquake not heart attack, we are praying in a pagan sort of way that all the Cab Franc vines sink into the Pacific Ocean into one of those massive sea trenches.

#cabfran #cabernetfranc #cabfrancreviews #cabfrancblog

Cabernet Franc is a Bio Hazard Is it Horse Urine?


Entralibut Bistro Seafood Restaurant and Bar Whittier Alaska

Dateline today…..

Just opened in the newly refurbished historic part of the fish cannery in Whittier Alaska the Entralibut Bistro. The ENTRABIST (Their custom acronym that went thru 15 focus groups to get the right spelling) specializes in fish entrail dishes even the desserts.

Alaska Entralibut Bistro Whittier Alaska AK Entrails 247 AK

The Bistro specializes in halibut entrail dishes sourcing only entrails fresh from Prince William Sound AK. The Artisan Halibut Cassoulet with fish row and Halibut Stomachs and Red Salmon Blood Sausage is a life changing event. They have received numerous awards including a James Beerd Foundation award for Artisan Entrail Excellence in the North American group. The Bistro has 2 Michealin Stars for excellence in a new stand alone entrail dish category. The Artisan Blueberry Trachea Crisp with Rockfish Roe Ice Cream is worth a trip to Alaska on it’s own.

The Bistro is unique in that it is not on the water but over the water, you can actually fish from your table thru floor hatches. Swedish circle hooks, herring and loaner fishing poles are provided.

#entrailrecipes #fishentrailrecipes #entrailrestaurants #trendingnorthwestrestaurants

#finediningrestaurants #alaskafinedining #alaskagourmetrestaurants