Dateline June 11, 2012 Homer Alaska somewhere on the Spit….
Major Biotech Discovery. Again Cannery Workers who were experimenting with Alder Smoked King Salmon Bellies have made an incredible Discovery. Apparently some of the salmon belly bacon fell onto the privates of a male cannery worker, after only 1 hour and 15 minutes of contact his member had grown by over 3/4 of an inch. Other Cannery workers said that after 30 days a 3 inch growth was common. Female cannery workers apparently just turned into raving nympho maniacs if they came in contact with the Salmon Bellies.
USA Label Below:
European Label Below:
Each 8 oz. of Salmitacon or SalmBacon comes with enough Alder Smoked King Salmon Bacon Belly for a 30 day usage period and enough left over for breakfast for two, recommended side dishes are flapjacks and Vermont Maple Syrup, really good coffee and mango juice. Also causes a heightened sense of male arousal for 15 years after first use.
Safety Blurbs on the side of the box seem to indicate that it is unsafe to use for over 30 days. That the product has a 25 year shelf life. That any changes the product causes are irreversible.
Slang terms on the street include:
Date Rape Bacon
Salmonitacon Salmon Bacon Male Enhancement Strips can be purchased from vending machines in the following fine dining restaurants:
Salmonitacon Salmon Bacon Male Enhancement Strips can be purchased from the following tour operators:
Salmaticon Generic Label Below: