Improvised Halibut Exploding Device IHED the fish IED Alaska Fishing Charters

Dateline December 8th Whittier Alaska…..

Captain Dan of Captain Dan’s Pagan Fishing Charters (CAPTDANPA) of Whittier Alaska has announced in a press conference on the steps of the Begich Towers that he is now using the IEHD (Improvised Exploding Halibut Device) to fish for halibut in Prince William Sound. Captain Dan’s Nom de Guerre is “The Lion of Whittier” also “Halibut Tarzan” and “The Tarzan of the North”. The IEHD is a BATHRAH (Bathtub Raised Halibut) as opposed to a FARRAHAL (Farm Raised Halibut) that has been implanted with an IED (Improvised Explosive Device). Captain Dan is a pagan and it is thought he recruits only atheist halibut for his program. The wire guided IEHD when deployed swims to the bottom of Prince William Sound locates a group of halibut enters the pod and explodes itself. The dead halibut are then collected as they float to the surface. It is generally acknowledged that halibut make the best fish and chips and that cod is just bait (except for lingcod and black cod).

Captain Dan asserts that all of the halibut caught this way are artisan cage free halibut that only have a smattering of nut dust on them from the bar snacks on the halibut charter u-boat.

Many people confuse the IEHD with the IEHBD (Improvised Exploding Halibut Bomb Device) which is an unlawfull outlaw device still used in Seward Alaska and is an air dropped fishing device.

It is thought that over one half of the bath tubs in the Begich Towers are being used to raise the BATHRAH.

The IESALD (Improvised Exploding Salmon Device) is in development by Kenai Contraceptives and Captain Dan’s Pagan Fishing Charters. Kenai Contraceptives is a fish based contraceptives company based in Homer Alaska. Kenai Contraceptives has developed the Salmon IUD (SALMIUD).

Rumors of a IEHND (Improvised Exploding Halibut Nuclear Device) are unconfirmed at this time.

DNA tests have confirmed that Captain Dan has halibut DNA implanted in every cell of his marbled body. During Halibut fishing season Captain Dan can be seen swimming nude at sunrise in the Whittier small boat harbor with no wet suit to cover his magnificently marbled body, his skin glistening in the early morning sun from the layer of rendered sea lion fat that has been slathered on his beautiful body. Captain Dan started his early morning swimming regime after reading about the “Amazing Walt Stack” from San Francisco. The Captain’s favorite movie is On the Edge with Bruce Dern and Walt Stack. File photo directly below of the Captain Swimming in Whittier:

Whittier Alaska Salmon and Halibut Fishing The Priapus of Prince William Sound

Other Facts about Captain Dan:

His favorite wine themed movie is Corked a mockumentary about the Sonoma County California wine trade. Since his Halibut Charter boat is a converted German U-Boat you can guess his favorite submarine movie is Das Boot and his all time favorite movie since he is a pagan is of course Breaker Morant.

Glossary:

BATHRAH – Bathtub Raised Halibut

Artisan Bathtub Halibut Cage Free Halibut artisan halibut

CAPTDANPA  – Captain Dan’s Pagan Fishing Charters

Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Halibut Fishing Retreat to Alaska Ted the Vino Tarzan Captain Dan's Pagan Halibut Fishing Charters Whittier Alaska AK German Officer Captain Dan's with german soldier Captain Dan in his Lend Lease British Bomber attacking Seward Alaska Captain Dan's Pagan Halibut Charters Whittier Alaska AK Loose Lips Cost us Halibut Captain Dan's Fishing Charters Whittier AlaskaCaptain Dan shakes fist at the Dastardly Attack by Seward Alaska  captain dan tarzan of the north whittier alaska halibutCaptain Dan's Pagan Fishing Charters

captain dan's pagan fishing charters the clean sailor  Ahab's Moby Halibut drink with Captain DanCaptain Dan's Pagan Fishing Charters Esther Rock Alaska

 

FARRAHAL-Farm Raised Halibut

IED-Improvised Explosive Device

IEHBD – Improvised Exploding Halibut Bomb Device

halibut bomb

IEHD-Improvised Exploding Halibut Device

halibut ied

IEHND – Improvised Exploding Halibut Nuclear Device

nuclear halibut ied halibu nuc ied

IESALD – Improvised Exploding Salmon Device

salmon ied

 

 

 

 

SALMIUD – Salmon Intrauterine Device

Salmon Fin IUD Manufactured in Homer Alaska on the Spit Salmon fin iud manufactured in Homer Alaska on the spit

 

#ied #improvisedexplodingdevice #salmon #redsalmon #halibut #halibutfishing #farmraisedhalibut #whittieralaska #princewilliamsoundalaska