Dateline Thursday October 25th Gold Beach Oregon the Mouth of the Rogue River…..
A brazen sexual attack by a Massive Hulking King Salmon on a young nubile great white shark at the mouth of the Rogue River shocked early morning onlookers, mainly birdwatchers and some senior citizens crabbing off the breakwater, so much that some of the onlookers headed inland just like if a Tsunami was coming in.
Local officials were unclear whether the county or the city would have jurisdiction over such a sexual rampage. One onlooker claimed to have some video of the event but this was not verified. All that was left after the event was a smattering of Sharp Aged White Cheddar Cheese bits that coated the water after the attack.
A Marine Biologist from a local University, which shall go nameless, was pulled from a local Latte shop for a comment. The comments, some of which were censored by the local Gold Beach Sheriff, seemed to indicate that if the Great White had babies they would be some strange looking critters.