The smell of human blood and Kirschwasser is thick in the humid air, the scent of aged Tillamook cheddar is wafting from the smooth beach rocks at the Forest Service Cabin on Green Island in beautiful and picturesque Prince William Sound. The site of the brutal attack by radicalized human flesh eating amphibious halibut on the 6 Iowa Tourists that were attacked while preparing fondue in the cabin. All of the tourists are dead, the cabin is a shambles, streaks of Tillamook white cheddar are mixed in the bloody debris. In a terrible coincidence of fate these 6 tourists were relatives and friends of the Iowa motor home tourists killed in Neskowin Oregon by the Rogue Killer King Salmon that has been terrorizing the Oregon Coast and Inland River System. You may ask what these attacks have in common? Apparently Tillamook White Cheddar Cheese is the trigger food for amphibious human flesh eating fish attacks.
The cameras of the dead tourists were examined. From the expressions on their faces, it was crystal clear that too many relatives and friends were in the tiny cabin for too many days. It was too many rats in a cage. The forensic photo expert noted that the mother of the clan was absent from all the photos and was therefore presumed to be the photographer. Could it be that claustrophobia, incessant rain and too many group photos had caused madness and made the group less wary to the amphibious threat.
This attack is apparently not from the Ketchikan harbor halibut that are non-amphibious. The smoking gun points again to the radicals in Seward Alaska that are apparently breeding the brutal amphibious man eating halibut in the Seward Harbor. Seward Alaska has really never recovered from the economic devastation of the 1950’s Halibut Wars defeat by Whittier Alaska.
Alaska Tourists were urged to steer clear of full fat cheese products, one hypothesis was that lower fat cheese products were not trigger foods. News reached the Tillamook Cheese Factory in Oregon and it was evacuated.
Non-official sources in Grants Pass Oregon said that if those halibut came up the Rogue River they could ruin the Boatnic. Grants Pass Oregon was the site of the 2012 attack on the toddlers alongside the Rogue River in Riverside Park in Grants Pass Oregon. Inga, the Swedish Nanny that saved many of the toddlers in the 2012 Grants Pass Oregon toddler attack had no comment but was visibly shaken by the news of the Green Island attack.
Whittier Alaska harbor officials have started deploying the halibut torpedo nets left over from the 1950’s halibut wars to protect the harbor from a Pearl Harbor type halibut attack.
The first two floors of the Begich Towers in Whittier have been evacuated because of the amphibious halibut attacks on the Iowa tourists on Green Island in Prince William Sound, an unofficial source said that it is believed that while the fish are amphibious they can’t go up stairs very well.
Captain Dan, “The Lion of Whittier”, winters and vacations in Rio Rancho NM. The LiofWhitA is his custom acronym. The name of his favorite pet goldfish is “Black Death”. Captain Dan was getting ready to head north, his converted German U-Boat Halibut Boat was being provisioned and fueled in the Whittier Boat Harbor. Rumor of a “Jaws” type winter quest were rumored.
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