Dateline October 29th early AM Grants Pass Oregon….
A Gorgeous Swedish Nanny named Inga was herding a small herd of Toddlers in Riverside Park on the South Side of the Rogue River in Grants Pass Oregon early this morning when out of the Foggy Mist on the River slid the Giant Chinook Salmon that has been Terrorizing the Oregon Coast. Screams were heard from the Toddlers as the King Salmon Rushed in for the Attack. Screams that were heard from the decks on the Rooms at the Motel, The Lodge at Riverside on the North Side of the Rogue River…some of the Lodgers were crying…one women was heard to say, “how can I eat the complimentary breakfast after seeing that”.
Local Fishermen congregated at a local fly fishing shop on Morgan Lane trying to figure out what kind of fly it would take to lure in the King Killer Salmon. Cheap talk was heard that this could cause the cancellation of the Grants Pass versus Medford High School Football Game, but this was unverified. The Grants Pass Caveman – Medford Black Tornado Rivalry is a huge annual event and is generally believed to be bigger that the rivalry between the Taft Rockets and the Bakersfield Tigers depicted in the Movie The Best of Times.
Many people are afraid the Killer Salmon could slither over the top of the Savage Rapids Dam.
Riverside Park in Grants Pass is where the annual Boatnic Festival has been for over 50 years.