Riverside Park Grants Pass Oregon Salmon Attacks Toddlers

Dateline October 29th early AM Grants Pass Oregon….

A Gorgeous Swedish Nanny named Inga was herding a small herd of Toddlers in Riverside Park on the South Side of the Rogue River in Grants Pass Oregon early this morning when out of the Foggy Mist on the River slid the Giant Chinook Salmon that has been Terrorizing the Oregon Coast. Screams were heard from the Toddlers as the King Salmon Rushed in for the Attack. Screams that were heard from the decks on the Rooms at the Motel, The Lodge at Riverside on the North Side of the Rogue River…some of the Lodgers were crying…one women was heard to say, “how can I eat the complimentary breakfast after seeing that”.

Local Fishermen congregated at a local fly fishing shop on Morgan Lane trying to figure out what kind of fly it would take to lure in the King Killer Salmon. Cheap talk was heard that this could cause the cancellation of the Grants Pass versus Medford High School Football Game, but this was unverified. The Grants Pass CavemanMedford Black Tornado Rivalry is a huge annual event and is generally believed to be bigger that the rivalry between the Taft Rockets and the Bakersfield Tigers depicted in the Movie The Best of Times.

Many people are afraid the Killer Salmon could slither over the top of the Savage Rapids Dam.

Savage Rapids Dam Grants Pass Oregon

Riverside Park in Grants Pass is where the annual Boatnic Festival has been for over 50 years.

Giant Killer King Salmon has a Serious Tillamook Cheddar Cheese problem

Dateline October 11th Depoe Bay Oregon…..

A massive 25 pound block of aged white Tillamook cheddar has been strapped down to a raft in the Depoe Bay fish harbor near the docks. A sniper awaits on the deck of a local bar with a Winchester 338 hoping to get a head shot on the Killer Chinook salmon that has been terrorizing the beaches breakwaters and local parking lots. Aged white cheddar cheese is the only known trigger food for the Man Killing salmon beast….

The smell of Terror wafts through the small fishing village on the Oregon Coast…

Depoe Bay Bridge Oregon Coast site of Killer Salmon hysteria