Captain Dan’s to host Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Halibut Fishing Retreat

Captain Dan’s Pagan Fishing Charters of Whittier Alaska will host the annual retreat for the management and workers of Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack of Manassas Virginia. The 56 day retreat will be on the U-Boat and in Forest Service Cabins in Prince William Sound Alaska. Planned activities include the usual halibut fishing and sitka blacktail deer hunting. Rum Drinking. Strippers. Table Dancers. Unlimited Halibut fish and chips 24/7.

Salmonagra will be distributed to all participants along with Salmon Bacon. Salmon Bacon or Salmonitacon is a Male Enhancement Product made by Kenai Contraceptives out of Salmon Bellies. Kenai Contraceptives is located in Homer Alaska.

Of course Ted the Vino Tarzan will be there, also known as Moose Dung the Yunger.

Retreat participants and Guest Speakers will include Larry Aschenbrenner also known as Moose Dung the Elder, Lar or Lare. Lare has completely healed from the ugly incident in Champoeg Oregon when he spent the night in the Pen of Shame.

Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Halibut Fishing Retreat to Alaska Ted the Vino Tarzan
Lar will speak on the following subjects:

-motor homes and why they don’t fit under decks.

-dead dogs in the driveway.

-field identification of moose or “it had a massive rack”

-dachsunds on the beach or don’t bring that dog in the camper.

-septic fields and tanks or why is the grass so high in the middle of the backyard.

-field Identification of Swans and Great White Snow Goose or “it came down like a 747″

-Legendary Poachers of Southern Oregon.

#moosedungtheelder #princewilliamsound #thepenofshame #larryaschenbrenner #maleenhancement #maleenhancementproducts #salmonagra #salmonbacon #salmonitacon #dutyhonorhalibut #whittieralaska #tedtheviontarzan #vinotarzan #halibutgodofalaska #alaskahalibutfishing

 

 

Prometheus Night at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca

Prometheus night is also known as Liver and Onion night….we have had no success whatsoever at getting eagle meat for eagle fajitas. In fact if you can get eagle meat it is usually nasty tasting since they eat a bit of carrion…..this is not always a good thing.

Prometheus Night Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Enoteca Cave Bar Virginia

Cave Party Matera Night Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Manassas VA Enoteca Cave Wine Bar

Finally the commemorative graphic for that infamous stormy night in Matera Italy. A massive thunderstorm with a biblical rainstorm, an incredible pre-function followed by the party in the cave with over 30 bottles of wine…..On a night Bram Stoker would have appreciated…

Cave Party Night at Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca
Donato our RickSteves tour guide asked our hotel for use of one of it’s large cave rooms so we could have a place for a party and evening picnic on a stormy night. Click here for an interview with Donato Chmura our guide. A massive spread of food and new good friends….an epic tour that has set the vacation bar so high that it is almost impossible to climb back to those heights. And of course our bus driver Mauritzio who pointed out all the good looking girls to me with the words, “Ice Cream”. And then the next morning off to the Buffalo Mozzarella farm / plant.

Bull Riding Night at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca

We have failed to get a mechanical bull. The only thing we could find was a bull costume in size medium for a feral cat. We tied a guinea pig with a cowboy hat on to the feral cat to simulate the bull ride….

Bull Riding Night Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Manassas VA Wine Bar

Naked Cats and Topless Women Night at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack

Monday night is the new theme night at the Tiki Bar….naked nipples and breasts everywhere….

Naked Cats and Topless Women Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca

Screw an Angel Night at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca

Of all the themed night extravaganzas, Screw an Angel Night, has struck a raw bloody nerve and is an incredible hit…

Screw an Angel Night at Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca Virginia VA

Fertility Rituals at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca

The morning of Fertility Ritual Night….to do lists…massive cups of french press coffee….this is a major night…..fertility ritual reviewers will be here….madness….

Fertility Rituals Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Manassas Virginia Va Wine Bar

Goat Cheese Night at Ted’s Pagan Tiki Shack Enoteca Wine Bar

The goats have been milked and the french press coffee made…..the serpent is back in his lair….

Goat Cheese Night Ted's Pagan Tiki Shack Wine Bar Enoteca Chevre Night VA